


Vega Vega Vega

by commanderlurker (honeybee592)



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 06:51:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14303214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybee592/pseuds/commanderlurker
Summary: The fics I wrote for vegaweek 2018 on Tumblr.The prompts/themes are: Pre-Normandy, Family, Party Vega, and Post-War





	1. Pre-Normandy

Basic is great. Sure, everything’s dictated to you: when you get up, when you eat, what you eat, when you sleep, how many laps of the god-damned training ground you gotta run. And sure, all that sucks (James knows every crack in Camp Pendleton’s tarmac; he’s even named them), but being here, subjecting himself to this crap week on week, is worth it, because he’s here by choice. He’s not under the thumb of his dad any more, and shit, that makes all the difference.

With every push up and pull up and blistered toe and broken night, his confidence grows. He’s more sure of himself, his place in the world. He’s actively shaping his future and it’s one he looks forward to.

His confidence only grows as he goes on his first deployment. Sure, he’s shitting bricks, but it turns out he’s good at this shit. He listens to his CO, applies what he’s learned, and comes out on top.

His biggest boost comes with his Special Forces commendation. That’s when the real training begins. The real missions. And that’s when he really comes into his own. He joins Delta Squad and for the first time in years, he has a family. One that he’s proud of.

That’s why Fehl Prime is such a shit show. He’s had failed missions before, but none hurt as much as Fehl Prime. His first mission there, to deal with the Blood Pack, goes FUBAR but he copes, salvaging a shit situation with what can only be called balls out courage. Or panache, if he’s feeling fancy. Captain Toni gets his leg broken in the initial engagement and James steps up, taking command. He’s crazy and fearless, channelling his idol, Commander Shepard, and he dominates that battle. And his subordinates go along with his crazy shit, more or less. Essex has always been a prick, but he’s a prick James can manage. He’s got that leadership shit down right back then. It’s the Collectors a few months later that fucks him up.

The colonists and most of Delta Squad get incapacitated and captured by the Collectors’ freaky bugs, leaving James in charge again, but the offensive rescue mission soon turns into a defensive fight for their lives. His crew look up to him, and he comes up with a plan. It’s risky (very Shepard-like), but when it fails, he’s forced onto the defence, and then he’s always playing catch up. He tries to stay upbeat, especially when his crew start getting picked off one by one, and he keeps moving forward, keeps redeveloping the plan, as he’s been trained to.

It’s the decision that cracks him. The data or the colonists. That moral dilemma is what makes him doubt his leadership skills, more than the decisions made up to this point, or the deaths of his squadmates and allies.

How’s he supposed to choose? Sacrifice the smaller number for the greater good? Or save the people that mean the most to him? He didn’t learn any fucking ethics in Camp Pendleton. He learned to do what he was told.

So he goes with his gut. He chooses the data. He watches that doomed Collector ship filled with his family, his crew, the colonists he’d become buddies with, burn up in the planet’s atmo. He watches them all die. Part of him dies then, too. His confidence, his belief in himself. His faith in doing the right thing. He’s not cut out for this shit, no matter what his superiors say. The medals and promotion are an insult to all those who died. He’s no hero.

Did he make the right decision? At the time he thought he did. Now? Now he doesn’t know. So he’s on a freighter to Omega where he can drown his sorrows. He bites back the knowledge that he’s just as fucking useless as his dad, giving up like this. But he doesn’t care. He doesn’t deserve anything better.

Then he gets into a fight, a real classic bar brawl. Admiral Anderson steps in like the Archangel Michael and assigns him a new mission. A new chance. And even then James doesn’t want to take it.

He’ll take it though, and it’ll change his life.


	2. Family

There’s a holo that James keeps in his omni. It’s from Gloria’s quinceañera, so he would’ve been twelve. Mom and Dad flank James and Gloria. Already James is already taller than Gloria despite being three years younger than her. She’s ecstatic and gorgeous in her dress bought especially for the occasion. Mom is beautiful, as always. James and Josh wear suits and ties–shit, James remembers how they both loosened those top buttons the first moment they could. But they all look so happy in that holo. They were happy, too, back then. Before Mom got sick and Dad–Josh–started breaking. When James thinks about family, he thinks about that holo.

There’s another, too. His mom and her brother, Emilio, James’ uncle. It was one of his mom’s favourites, so it’s one of James’ favourites too. Emilio still had hair when it was taken. They grin at the camera, and Emilio is making bunny ears behind Camila’s head. James can see the Vega eyes in those two, eyes that he inherited. Emilio became the one James looked up to for guidance and advice after Josh broke.

His favourite holo is a candid shot of his abuela. She, more than anyone–more than his mom, more than his dad–shaped young James. She’s in the kitchen in the holo, her favourite place, brandishing a spatula. Her apron is stained with grease and flour and her hair’s come loose from its bun. Best of all, she’s smiling. She wasn’t always a smiler. You really had to work to get her to smile. She didn’t tolerate shit jokes and she sure as shit didn’t tolerate childrens’ sticky fingers poking at the cookies and cakes she had cooling on racks. She would’ve died in the kitchen if the doctors had allowed it. From her spot by the cooker, she guided, ruled, and presided over the house like their pastor at church. She taught James how to cook. She taught him how to respect others. She taught him right from wrong. She taught him all the good swear words.

She didn’t live long enough to see her daughter get sick, and that’s probably just as well. That would have killed her faster than the virus, then the pneumonia, that took her out in the end.

Gloria married her highschool sweetheart. Never had kids. James doesn’t know if they couldn’t have any, or they didn’t want to. He’s never asked. They’re happy, still, after all these years, and that’s all that matters. When she got married, she changed her name. Not to Michael’s though. Not even love could make her become Gloria Hooker. No, she changed it to Vega after Josh let her down one too many times. Fuck being a Sanders, she said to James. She wanted to honour her mom and this was the way she chose to do it. James followed suit soon after, dropping the Sanders and sticking to Vega. He’d always been known as Party Vega anyway.

He doesn’t have any holos of Josh, other than the one from Gloria’s quinceañera. James remembers what he used to be like, before his mom got sick, before she died. James loved that man, his daddy, who gave James piggyback rides and taught him to swim and let him sip his beer even though James always screwed up his face and spat it out.

That’s why James keeps looking, keeps checking the Alliance Missing and Found lists. His mom and abeula are long gone–and thank whatever gods out there that they didn’t live long enough to experience the Reapers–and both Gloria and Uncle Emilio have reported in safe, but that doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about Joshua Sanders, DOB 03/05/2134, last known residence Mira Mesa Arcology.


	3. Party Vega

James’ most memorable parties, in chronological order:

He’s five years old and there’s cake. It’s all his. He’s been told he has to share but no, this is his birthday. He starts school tomorrow so this is his cake. He will eat it. All of it. He tears off chunks of cake by the handful, just to make sure everyone knows it’s  _his_.

*

Gloria’s having a sleepover and eleven year old James just wants to hang out with the girls too. Gloria says, fine, you can stay, but only if you play our games. So he plays truth or dare, and spin the bottle. Everyone laughs when he spins and the bottle lands on Gloria. He doesn’t care. He gives his sister a kiss on the cheek, just like he kisses his mom and abuela goodnight every night. Then Laura, his hero, spins the bottle and it lands on James. He blushes as red as a tomato and manages to accept his kiss without embarrassing himself. 

Later, they do each other’s make up. He gets his done, too. Full face, including lashes. Laura even plucks his eyebrows. He’s never looked so fierce. He helps paint toenails and fingernails, but he’s not patient enough for the little stickers that some of the girls use. The dancing is the best part. He loves dancing. All of Gloria’s friends want a turn dancing with James. He’s never had more fun.

*

He’s a couple hours into his sixteenth year and he’s already earned his nickname. That he’s partying harder than usual has nothing to do with his mom finally dying only a couple months ago. That’s what he tells himself. The last two months have been harder than the last two years, but he’s determined to put all that behind him for one night, at least. It’s his first time in a speakeasy. He thought they were a legend, something his dad made up, but no, here he is, drinking underage courtesy of Josh. Josh is being the fun dad and buying James his drinks. Uncle Emilio is gonna be a killjoy and cut him off soon, James can tell. 

Come to think of it, this might be more of a titty bar than a speakeasy. There are  _a lot_ of topless women around. James does his best to keep his eyes up and his dick down. His abuela wouldn’t approve of him being here, that’s for sure. Josh tells everyone it’s his son’s twenty-first. Sure, James is tall and broad for his age, even got a nice little mo coming in, but there’s no way anyone could believe that shit. No one cares though, and any chance Emilio had of cutting off James’ drink supply is quickly quashed as random people buy James shot after shot in honour of his birthday.

“That’s my boy, Party Vega,” Josh says as he introduces James to the joys of tequila.

The morning grants him his most memorable hangover. It’s not as fun as the party.

*

Still sixteen (it’s a good age for parties). This isn’t the first house party he’s been to, but it’s definitely the best. He doesn’t even know whose house this is. Paul just told him there was a party James had to be at so James gets his ass out to the place. Paul’s party instincts are perfect: the place is going off, music blaring from the moment James steps inside. Good music, too, dancing music.

“Party Vega! Knew you could make it.” Paul pulls James into a tight half-hug and shoves a bottle of something into his hand.

“Who else’s here?” James asks.

“Look around, man.” And Paul disappears into the crowd.

He recognises one of Gloria’s friends, then another and another. They’re all here and that means the dancing is  _hot_. Yeah, they’re looking fine. James preens for them, flexes and shows off. He’s not been working out for nothing. Then his sister buts in, telling him off for sneaking out, and he tells her not to cock block him. Paul’s cousin is here too, and shit can that man  _move_. He’s a real man, too, like, he turned twenty-two the other week. He spots James and nods his head, beckoning James over. They don’t speak. Just dance. And holy hell if this isn’t the hottest thing James has ever done. Their bodies pressed together, chest to back, hands all over each other. It’s like there’s no one else here. Just the two of them and the beat. The moment lasts forever, and James is sure life doesn’t get any better than this.

*

Between graduating basic and his first deployment, James parties big ‘cause this might be the last time he sees San Diego’s beaches for a while. He heads out every night, checking out all his old haunts, catching up with friends. He dances and drinks and maybe makes out with a few people. Everything seems small coming back here, even after only a few months away. This place was his whole world once, but his world’s about to get big. Real big. Galaxy sized. In the meantime, he’s gonna enjoy his free time and hit the clubs.

*

Turns out saving a colony from krogan mercs makes you a bit of a hero. The colonists of Fehl Prime are quick to put on a party once Delta Squad have kicked the Bloodpack’s asses. Been a while since James has let his hair down so he makes the most of it. Even Captain Toni, fresh from the bone knitter, takes a spin on the makeshift dance floor. A lot of colonists take their turns dancing with James, but there’s one partner James loves dancing with the most. April. She’s about ten or eleven, got blonde hair almost down to her waist, and more energy than a racing varren. She can’t dance very well but she’s got enthusiasm, and that’s what counts. Her mom tries to pry her away, get her home to bed, but she doesn’t want to let go of James’ hands. She only leaves when James promises to give her a tour of the colony’s defences. She tells James that they’re now best friends, and James laughs, believing her absolutely.

*

There’s no party when he gets his N7 commendation. No congratulations from his family. Just a whole lot of guilt and doubt. He takes his worries to Shepard. She talks sense into him. Then, to James’ absolute surprise, Shepard cracks out a bottle of whiskey. She pours two glasses and hands one to James. “This deserves a celebration, don’t you think?” She grins, and that makes James grin, too. And in that moment, he feels better about his future. He can picture it: a sweet ship and a cabin with his name on it. He clinks glasses with Shepard. Turns out he gets his party after all.

*

Shepard’s throwing a party. A final, end-of-the-galaxy party. No regrets, no doubts. That’s what it feels like, anyway. This crew was thrown together in the worst possible way. Esteban, Traynor, they weren’t even supposed to be here but they were working on the Normandy when the Reapers hit Earth, so they stayed. Shit, even James isn’t sure if he was supposed to stick around or not. He didn’t want to, not at first, but Shepard has this way about her, this way of making James see the galaxy, the mission, differently. And she didn’t kick him off, even though she could’ve. He’s glad he stayed. Shepard has changed his life for the better, even if his life might not have much time left. So that’s why he’s going hard tonight. He’s making these memories while he still can, doing that stupid push up competition with Kaidan and Jacob, teasing the biotics (holy hell, Liara can do that floating thing to him  _all day_ ), shit talking with Garrus. Oh yeah, and dancing. He hasn’t worked up the courage to get too close to Jack yet, but he wants to. That woman has all the moves. And the tats, holy hell.

Yeah, even if the galaxy goes up in smoke tomorrow, at least James has left his mark.


	4. Post-war

The war only took a year but the recovery’s gonna take a lifetime. More than a lifetime. Two, three, for the humans anyway. Fuck knows how Thessia and Palevan are coping. The kids are what hits James the hardest. A lot of them don’t have parents any more, no families. Some have just got each other. Some don’t even have that. He fills his pockets with as many rations as he’s reasonably allowed before he leaves the base each morning and hands out what he can. Not enough shrinks around to help these kids process what they’ve been through. Shit, some days he finds it hard to process, too.

Speaking of family, Gloria and Michael are stuck out Vegas way, but they’re safe. Uncle Emilio’s still in San Diego and he’s got skills he can put to use. Sure, he was an accountant before the war, but before he was an accountant, he tinkered with electronics, so he gets his hands dirty. He explains to James that the accounting comes in handy, too, but James isn’t so sure. Their reunion happened in typical Vega style: James was just hanging in a bar after his shift when a bunch of dudes got into a fight. He weighed in to pull them apart, and guess who else did, too? Emilio insisted on buying the first round while James nursed a bleeding nose after copping an elbow in the melee. Emilio’s out living in temporary housing, along with most of San Diego’s reduced population. It’s rough, but it’s better than nothing, he says.

No word on Josh. He’s been on the missing list since the Mira Mesa Arcology got reaper-lasered about four months into the war. Missing. Not dead. That means they haven’t found any bits of body with his DNA. Course, he might’ve been obliterated. The reaper didn’t leave much behind. Might not be anything of him left. But that doesn’t stop James checking Josh’s old haunts. The bars and alleys, friends’ places. He runs into a few of Josh’s old red sand addicts, asks them, but they’re so fucking high they make no sense. How the fuck can they still get their hands on red sand when there’s barely enough food to go around? The whole post-war economy makes no sense to James. Uncle Emilio tries explaining it to him. James’ eyes glaze over. Just point him at some rebar that needs lifting or some kids that need entertaining.

There’s a lot of people in James’ position, people who don’t know shit about what’s happened to their families. Doesn’t make it any easier, sharing that pain. Despite not having spoken to Josh in close to a decade, it still hurts, not knowing if he’s around or not.

Getting the call to go to the Villa is almost a relief. Once he’s there he’s worked so hard he doesn’t have a chance to think about what’s going on anywhere else. Getting stuck into missions again is good for him. Good for his focus. If he’s busy then he’s not thinking. And when he’s not busy, he’s too tired to think. That’ll change soon enough, when his body gets used to N School’s punishing routine.

His first off-Earth mission comes in. Pirates. Fucking pirates, man. The galaxy’s got a lot of healing to do, and James knows that people–human or otherwise–aren’t always going to play nice. Some are gonna take any advantage they can to put themselves on top. Keeping the whole mess under control falls guys like him. He’ll play his part, do his thing. He didn’t help save the galaxy from the reapers just to see it get stabbed in the back by opportunists. All those kids have to have some place to grow up, after all. A place they can be proud of. A place they can call home.


End file.
